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A prison rights group protests the treatment of supervillains in the nation's magnetic detainment cubes, a local dad thought he could make it out of a zoo without buying his kids light-up shit, and a pigeon wishes just once it could complete a head movement smoothly. It's the week of June 20, 2014.
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The Onion looks back at the release of David Bowie's 'The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust,' which popularized Glam Rock, Glam Politics, and Glam Sports, Charles Darwin killing and eating the last dodo, and D-Day, when brave U.S. boys in uniform blah blah blah greatest generation blah blah blah, all that World War II crap.

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